Im not the type to cut people off. Yes, relationships grow apart. Sacred contracts end. But I dont ditch you if you piss me off or hurt my feelings. I initiate open communication. I tell you Im hurt. But I dont build the Great Wall of China between us or block your phone calls.Im not suggesting that every relationship should be mended. Some are probably better left torn apart. But if you like me feel saddened by someone who has cut you out of their life, then youll get where Im coming from. This letter is for anyone who disagrees with how I live my life enough to cut me out. (You know who you are.) And its for anyone else who doesnt like how you live your life too. Feel free to pass it on. . . Dear You,I dont expect you to agree with how I live my life. I know I live out loud. I say 4-letter words on the internet. I talk openly about my sex life in my book. I share my views on everything fromabortion tomy grab bag religion toOsama Bin Laden toorgasms, and everything in between. Maybe you wish I spoke my mind less. Maybe you wish I was more modest. Maybe youd prefer I donned an apron and knew my place. I wont venture to guess exactly what Ive done that made you decide youve had enough and youre better off without me.
But I do have a few things I want to say, even if youre not listening.I may not expect you to agree with me. I honor your right to have different thoughts on faith, sexuality, politics, or theterrorism in Norway. I respect your right to live a more private life than I do or to express yourself in a different way. I dont mind if you think Im being too narcissistic or too selfish or too out there or too whatever. You have a right to your opinion, just like I have a right to mine.What I am upset about is that you wont talk to me about how youre feeling. Youve completely eliminated all contact, without any explanation. Youve left me second guessing myself, wonder! ing whic h one thing pushed you over the edge and made you decide youve hit your wall. Not that Id do anything differently, because honestly, Im just doing the best I can, and I cant recall anything Ive done that might have hurt you. And if I did do something, love, it was unintentional, without intended malice. Usually, the ways in which I hurt people are errors of omission, accidental oversights, which can happen because I can be clueless sometimes without meaning to be.This relationship is important to me. Id be willing to see a counselor with you in order to mediate whatever has happened. I dont give up on those I love easily, and I hope you wont either. Lets talk about this in a mutually respectful way. I will honor your feelings and validate your right to your opinion without getting defensive, as long as you refrain from lashing out, being unnecessarily belligerent, or treating me with blatant disrespect. I have my boundaries, and I dont deserve to be treated that way (neither do you). So if you cant honor that request, I will ask you nicely to stop, and if you cant, I will walk out/hang up/press delete/not listen. Because I respect myself too much to let you try to squash me like a bug. I may long for reconciliation, but not at any cost. If I have to choose between a toxic relationship with you and no relationship, I choose nothing. I love you and I value our history, but lifes simply too short for toxic relationships.
