10 Caregiver Secrets We Arent Proud Of
By Carol Bradley Bursack, AgingCare.com
Wouldnt it be nice to be perfect? Wouldnt it be nice to be a caregiver who had only loving thoughts every moment of the caregiving day? Maybe there are caregivers like that. If you are one of them, I truly congratulate you. Most of us who have been through years of caregiving will not fall into that category. I dont. How about you? Heres a sampling of caregiver confessions that Ive heard. Youll likely feel better just reading them.
Caregiver Confession #1: I have no life of my own and Im sick of it.
Caregivers often run from person to person, job to care receiver, home to nursing home, never really having time to do something that they want to do just for themselves. If this describes your life, you are over-ready to get outside help. Whether that means some in-home care for respite so you can get away, or a sibling to step in so you dont have to spend every moment of every day as a caregiver, its time to get a grip on your life. If you dont, you may burn out, get sick yourself, or even die before the care receiver. Who wins then? No one.
Caregiver Confession #2: Mom acts like my boss even when it comes to what I eat.
Elders in need of constant care feel their own pain. They generally feel a lack of control over their lives, as bit by bit their abilities slip away. This can make some of them disagreeable and bossy. Generally, the answer to this is to learn to detach with love. If she picks on you for eating junk food, ! just let it go. You need to set some boundaries around what you will respond to. Some things are irritating but really not that important.
I Secretly Wish My Elderly Mother Would Die
Often, if an elderly parent is bossy and critical, its more about her than you. By detaching not reacting, but just saying something like, Im sorry thats bothering you, and then moving on with what you are doing, you will not be giving in to her nagging. Youll be respectful of her sense of loss, but you wont be a doormat. She will likely get tired of trying to boss you around if you ignore her behavior rather than arguing with her.
10 Caregiver Confessions: Secrets We Arent Proud Of originally appeared on AgingCare.com
