Is There Such Thing as Healthy Fast Food?
Is There Such Thing as Healthy Fast Food? |
- Is There Such Thing as Healthy Fast Food?
- 7 Smart Ways to Becoming Your Best Possible Self
- Compassion
- Compassion
- Early Morning Meditation Inspiration - 5/24/2013
- Early Morning Buddhist Inspiration - 5/24/2013
- Bearing compassion in mind
- 7-Minute Workout: Fact vs. Fiction
- Baby's Life Saved with 3D Printing
- H7N9 Flu Study Hints at How It May Spread in People
- Praying to a personal God requires us to be a "person"
- Top 6 Questions to Ask Yourself Before You Get Married
| Is There Such Thing as Healthy Fast Food? Posted: 24 May 2013 01:00 PM PDT
Last summer, I got to spend some time with an old family friend. This friend has had multiple bypass surgeries and now is suffering from diabetes, but is still reluctant to make changes to his diet. During the time we spent together, I desperately tried to encourage him to make healthier choices. I want him to be around for a long time, and I'm worried he may be eating himself into an early grave. I'm not even talking about a complete diet overhaul, just some baby steps. Well, long story short, the only adjustment he made in two weeks was moving from a McDonald's sandwich for lunch every day to having an occasional lunch at Subway. He was proud of himself, but was I thrilled? Absolutely not. Especially after I saw the choices he was making at Subway. But it's his life and these are his choices to make. I cannot make decisions for anyone (nor would I want to). And I still love him just the same. Why is this coming up now? Well, I was reminded of Jack this week when I saw the results of two different studies. And I thought this information might be helpful for anyone who is struggling to make the right choices from a fast food menu. Some Surprising Results Researchers at UCLA released the results of a study this week that found that teens who purchase Subway meals consumed nearly as many calories as those who purchased from McDonald's. One staggering fact, that even surprised me, was the sodium content of the Subway meals. Researchers found that the nutrient profile at Subway was slightly healthier than at McDonald's, but the foods still had about three times the amount of salt recommended by the Institute of Medicine. The sodium content of meals consumed from Subway averaged 2,149 milligrams, while the McDonald's meals averaged 1,829 mg. This news may come as a shock to people who believed that Subway was among the "healthy" fast-food chains that seem to be trending as of late. In reality, there are one or two nutritionally sound items on Subway's menu. But healthy options don't matter if you're building a sandwich with red meat, bacon and three types of cheese. We're Not Improving… Much And for those "healthy" fast food chains, a study published this week in the American Journal of Preventative Medicine found that there have been only marginal improvements in the nutritional quality of fast food menu items over the past 14 years. The researchers rated food items on a 100-point scale. On average, fast food restaurants were rated a 45 in 1997-1998, and that score creeped up to 48 in 2009-2010. The bottom line is that we should not blindly trust that all options on any restaurant menu are nutritionally sound. In fact, that's rarely the case. Instead, take responsibility for your own health and make informed choices. You'll feel a whole lot better in the long run. Healthy Bites appears on MyHealthNewsDaily on Wednesdays. Deborah Herlax Enos is a certified nutritionist and a health coach and weight loss expert in the Seattle area with more than 20 years of experience. Read more tips on her blog, Health in a Hurry!  Read More @ Source | |||
| 7 Smart Ways to Becoming Your Best Possible Self Posted: 24 May 2013 12:00 PM PDT  Wait, scratch that. Have you ever wanted to be the best version of yourself? Think of it: loaded with money, lots of high-profile friends, amazing job with amazing benefits... …sounds pretty good, right? Most of us would agree that becoming our best selves is something we'd like to do. Unfortunately, it usually ends up being nothing more than wishful thinking. And for one reason or another we can't get past that "thinking" stage, so we don't know what actions to take. So this brings us to our main question - how do you take action on becoming your best self? Read more »     Read More @ Source | |||
| Posted: 24 May 2013 10:01 AM PDT
One afternoon, a tired-looking dog wandered into my yard and followed me through the door into the house. He went down the hall, lay down on the couch and slept there for an hour. Since my dogs didn't seem to mind his presence, and he seemed like a good dog, I was okay with him being there, so I let him nap. An hour later he went to the door motioned for me to let him out and off he went. The next day, much to my surprise, he was back. He resumed his position on the couch and slept for another hour. This continued for several weeks. Finally, curious, I pinned a note to his collar, and on that note I wrote, "Every afternoon your dog comes to my house for a nap. I don't mind, but I want to make sure it's okay with you." The next day he arrived with a different note pinned to his collar. "He lives in a home with three children in it. He's trying to catch up on his sleep. May I come with him tomorrow?" While lighthearted, this points toward the mood of compassion. Compassion can be described as letting ourselves be touched by the vulnerability and suffering that is within ourselves and all beings. The full flowering of compassion also includes action: Not only do we attune to the presence of suffering, we respond to it. There is a wonderful expression that says: It doesn't matter what age we are, if we're in these bodies and on planet Earth, it's not easy. That doesn't mean that we're always slaving away or that life is bad, it just means life can be really challenging at times. Because we are conditioned to pull away from suffering, awakening a compassionate heart requires a sincere intention and a willingness to practice. It can be simple. As you move through your day and encounter different people, slow down enough to ask yourself a question. "What is life like for this person? What does this person most need?" To be kind, we need to slow down and notice. Adapted from my book Radical Acceptance (2003) Read More @ Source | |||
| Posted: 24 May 2013 10:00 AM PDT
One afternoon, a tired-looking dog wandered into my yard and followed me through the door into the house. He went down the hall, lay down on the couch and slept there for an hour. Since my dogs didn't seem to mind his presence, and he seemed like a good dog, I was okay with him being there, so I let him nap. An hour later he went to the door motioned for me to let him out and off he went. The next day, much to my surprise, he was back. He resumed his position on the couch and slept for another hour. This continued for several weeks. Finally, curious, I pinned a note to his collar, and on that note I wrote, "Every afternoon your dog comes to my house for a nap. I don't mind, but I want to make sure it's okay with you." The next day he arrived with a different note pinned to his collar. "He lives in a home with three children in it. He's trying to catch up on his sleep. May I come with him tomorrow?" While lighthearted, this points toward the mood of compassion. Compassion can be described as letting ourselves be touched by the vulnerability and suffering that is within ourselves and all beings. The full flowering of compassion also includes action: Not only do we attune to the presence of suffering, we respond to it. There is a wonderful expression that says: It doesn't matter what age we are, if we're in these bodies and on planet Earth, it's not easy. That doesn't mean that we're always slaving away or that life is bad, it just means life can be really challenging at times. Because we are conditioned to pull away from suffering, awakening a compassionate heart requires a sincere intention and a willingness to practice. It can be simple. As you move through your day and encounter different people, slow down enough to ask yourself a question. "What is life like for this person? What does this person most need?" To be kind, we need to slow down and notice. Adapted from my book Radical Acceptance (2003) Read More @ Source | |||
| Early Morning Meditation Inspiration - 5/24/2013 Posted: 24 May 2013 09:00 AM PDT  "Those who speak much are blamed, those who speak little are blamed. In this world there are none who are not blamed. Try not to blame." ~The Buddha      Read More @ Source | |||
| Early Morning Buddhist Inspiration - 5/24/2013 Posted: 24 May 2013 09:00 AM PDT "Those who speak much are blamed, those who speak little are blamed. In this world there are none who are not blamed. Try not to blame." ~The Buddha Read More @ Source | |||
| Posted: 24 May 2013 01:00 AM PDT
For the next hour or so, let the first thought you have when seeing someone or meeting them face-to-face be: "This person suffers just as I suffer. This person, just like me, doesn't want to suffer." "Seeing someone" can include seeing their photograph or seeing them on TV, as well as seeing them in person, or seeing them passing by. You can try this for a longer period, of course, but I thought it would be good to try it for a very short spell initially, so that you don't feel you're taking on a task that's too big. I'd advise keeping these two phrases going prophylactically, so to speak; if you just have them running around your head whenever your mind would otherwise go off wandering, then it'll be easier to call them to mind. So as you're driving, you can see cars in front or behind, going in the same direction as you or in other directions, and say to yourself, "This person suffers just as I suffer. This person, just like me, doesn't want to suffer." You can do this as you're walking along the street or cruising the aisles of a supermarket. You can do it in your office. You can do it when you're in a meeting. But it's particularly to do this when you're actually talking to someone. Just try it and see what effect it has.  If you like my articles, and want to support my work, please click here to purchase my books, guided meditation CDs, and MP3s.
One person who tried this said it had helped "ground" him and stopped him from escalating tricky situations. Someone else who did this on the bus found that it lead to a loosening of their sense of having a "contracted self" and that they had a feeling of common experience with the other people. Someone else said, "I felt a connection with the person … even a deep kindness. Think I could have perhaps even went over and gave them a cuddle so we could cry together." And yet another person tried this on public transport: "This practice just helped me keep it "chill" during a long, cross-town bus ride during which a baby was crying the whole time. Other riders were getting very bent out of shape, but thanks to this mindfulness practice I just went with the flow with kindly thoughts for everyone on the bus." One of the things I found happening today as I was bearing these phrases in mind toward passers-by was that I felt a strong sense of curiosity about them. It wasn't like I had any specific questions in mind, like "I wonder what his name is," but that I had a strong sense of an entire life being right there in front of me, just waiting to be explored. I certainly feel much happier doing this practice. My usual thoughts — which sometimes reinforce unskillful mental states like anxiety and ill will — are displaced, and the new thoughts — "This person suffers just as I suffer; this person, just like me, doesn't want to suffer," lead to a sense of well-being, connectedness, and peace. And this is a practice that you can keep "rebooting" during the day. Try it for an hour, and then another hour, and then another. What happens, I wonder, if this becomes second nature and we don't even have to think about it? What happens when this ceases to be a practice, and just becomes part of who we are. Read More @ Source | |||
| 7-Minute Workout: Fact vs. Fiction Posted: 24 May 2013 12:00 AM PDT
The "seven-minute workout" is getting a lot of attention these days, and it sure sounds enticing. But experts say the express exercise routine is not as effective — or as short — as it sounds. The workout consists of 12 high-intensity exercises that use only body weight as resistance. It is an efficient way to lose weight and improve cardiovascular and muscular fitness, according to a study on the workout published in the May-June issue of the American College of Sports Medicine's Health & Fitness Journal. The article was covered by the national media, emailed among friends and discussed in the blogosphere. There are already apps available to help keep track of the time and the order of the exercises. However, after taking a closer look at the workout, experts have clarified some of the questions surrounding the exercise routine. Is it really 7 minutes? A closer look at the original article reveals that the authors suggest repeating the routine two or three times in a row, to achieve at least 20 minutes of high-intensity exercise, as recommended by the American College of Sports Medicine's guidelines. Seven minutes is a very small amount of exercise, said Cris Slentz, an exercise physiologist at Duke University. "Researchers have consistently shown that some exercise is better than none, but that more is better," he said. [Infographic: How to Do the 7-Minute Workout] Slentz said he would expect minimal health benefit from a seven-minute workout, but perhaps a modest physical-function benefit. "Someone who does this workout will not burn enough calories to actually get metabolic benefits," he said. Who should do the workout? The authors don't recommend this program to people who are overweight, previously injured or elderly. Some of the exercises are not recommended for persons with hypertension or heart disease. The workout can be dangerous for people whose bodies are not prepared, said Elsbeth Vaino, an Ottawa-based strength and conditioning specialist. "It is a good, quick option for an individual who is already really fit, and has other physical activities planned," she said. The workout's wide appeal seems to be based on how quick it is; according to the authors, it was designed for time-conscious individuals, such as busy professionals. But Vaino noted that many of these professionals spend a lot of their time seated. "This means they would need a different set of exercises" than what the seven-minute workout provides, she said, adding that more attention should be paid to the upper back muscles and glutes. Is it scientifically tested? The workout is based on science, but it hasn't been tested on a group of people to measure its benefits. The authors reviewed studies comparing high-intensity exercise with less-intense exercise, and used the findings to design a workout routine that needed minimal equipment and time. But there are differences between the protocols used in the previous research that makes the researchers' claims about the benefits of the seven-minute workout sound far-fetched to some. Adam Bornstein, a fitness and nutrition author, wrote in his blog that "the studies used to 'prove' the concepts don't mirror the workout that is being lauded as the seven-minute fix for your body." For example, in the previous studies, people used additional weights while exercising. And more importantly, the exercises were not done in seven minutes; in fact, they took three times that time to complete. Is it difficult? The seven-minute body fix is not supposed to be a pleasant experience. The authors write that "proper execution of this program requires a willing and able participant who can handle a great degree of discomfort." This might sound discouraging. But for those who turn the workout into a habit, the discomfort may become less noticeable, said Wendy Wood, a professor of psychology and business at the University of Southern California. "The trick with this — or any other exercise program — is to make it habitual … an unthinking part of your daily routine," she said. Although the workout may seem difficult at first, its short duration may ease some of that pain. "Once habits form, then the discomfort becomes relatively unimportant," Wood said. Follow Bahar Gholipour @alterwired. Follow MyHealthNewsDaily @MyHealth_MHND, Facebook & Google+. Originally published on LiveScience. Read More @ Source | |||
| Baby's Life Saved with 3D Printing Posted: 23 May 2013 11:00 PM PDT
When April and Bryan Gionfriddo brought home their newborn son, Kaiba, in October 2011, he seemed like a healthy baby. But one night, when the family was out to dinner, Kaiba stopped being able to breathe and turned blue. Bryan laid Kaiba, just 6 weeks old, on the restaurant table and performed chest compressions on him before he was rushed to the hospital. After 10 days, Kaiba was sent home, but he turned blue again two days later. That's when doctors realized Kaiba had a rare condition called tracheobronchomalacia, in which the windpipe is so weak that it collapses, preventing air from flowing to the lungs. Kaiba's case was severe, and his heart would stop beating on a daily basis, April Gionfriddo said. Even after surgeons placed a tube in their child's trachea to help him breathe, and put him on a ventilator, the life-threatening problems continued. "We were scared," Gionfriddo said. "We didn't think he was going to leave the hospital." But researchers at the University of Michigan had been working on a solution to this very problem. They had developed a way to use new technology called 3D printing to create a splint that would fit precisely around Kaiba's airway, holding it open and making it possible for him to breathe. Three-dimensional printers "print" an object by building it in very thin slices, one layer at a time. [Video: How Doctors Made Kaiba's Splint] "As soon as the splint was put in, the lungs started going up and down for the first time, and we knew he was going to be OK," said Dr. Glenn Green, an associate professor of pediatric otolaryngology at the university. Traditionally, airway splints have been carved by hand, but this takes a long time, and the splints do not exactly match a patient's airway. "I'd like to think I'm a pretty good artist, but I can't even come close to matching a picture," Green said. Kaiba's case is the first time 3D printing has been used to create a medical device that saved someone's life, the researchers said. 3D-printed splint For years, Green wanted better treatments for patients with severetracheobronchomalacia. Recently, the researchers began work on a 3D-printed splint and had planned to test it in a clinical trial. But when they heard of Kaiba's case, they realized the technology could save the baby's life, and Kaiba became the first patient treated using the procedure. The device received emergency clearance from the Food and Drug Administration. To construct the splint, doctors made a precise image of Kaiba's trachea and bronchus with a CT scan. Then, using computer modeling, they created a splint that would exactly fit around the airway, said study researcher Scott Hollister, a professor of biomedical engineering at the university. The model was then produced on a 3D printer.  Using a 3D printer, researchers created an airway splint. Shown above, a printed model of the splint and the child's airway and bronchus. CREDIT: The New England Journal of Medicine ©2013 The device is made out of a material called polycaprolactone, and will dissolve after about three years. By that time, Kaiba's windpipe will have grown, reducing pressure on the organ, and the splint will no longer be needed. A splint like Kaiba's splint can be made in about 24 hours and costs about one-third the price of a hand-carved version, Green said. Hollister and colleagues are also working to make 3D-printed devices that will aid in ear, nose and bone reconstruction. For these devices, the 3D printer would construct a scaffold that could be seeded with stem cells from fat or bone. These would then grow into tissue around the scaffold. The researchers have tested these devices in animal models. Earlier this year, researchers at Weill Cornell Medical College reported that they had made a synthetic ear using a 3D printer. 'Doing wonderful' Gionfriddo said she had doubts about using an untested device in her son, but she and her husband were desperate for solutions. "At that point, we would just take anything and hope it would work," she said. Twenty-one days after the procedure, Kaiba no longer needed a ventilator to help him breathe. In total, he spent four months in the hospital. Now at 20 months old, Kaiba is doing "wonderful," said Gionfriddo, who lives in Youngstown, Ohio. "We are so thankful that something could be done for him. It means the world to us." Kaiba's doctors describe his case in the May 23 issue of the New England Journal of Medicine. Follow Rachael Rettner @RachaelRettner. Follow MyHealthNewsDaily @MyHealth_MHND, Facebook & Google+. Originally published on LiveScience. Read More @ Source | |||
| H7N9 Flu Study Hints at How It May Spread in People Posted: 23 May 2013 10:00 PM PDT
It's likely that the new H7N9 bird flu virus can spread through the air on a limited basis, according to a new study that looked at how the virus spreads in animals. The study also provides more evidence that the virus can spread between people in close contact. However, it's unlikely the virus could cause a pandemic, unless it undergoes genetic changes that allow it to spread more efficiently between people, experts say. According to the World Health Organization, as of May 17, health officials knew of 131 people in China who had fallen ill with the H7N9 virus , including 36 who died. Most of these cases — about 75 percent — were people who had direct contact with poultry. In a few cases, people in the same family caught the disease, suggesting that the virus spreads between people in close contact. However, there is no evidence of sustained human-to-human transmission, WHO says. Because many factors can influence whether a person falls ill with flu, including their overall health, researchers like to study flu viruses in animals, under controlled conditions, to better understand how they spread, said study researcher Dr. Richard Webby, a bird-flu expert at St. Jude Children's Research Hospital in Memphis, Tenn. In the new study, researchers infected six ferrets with the H7N9 virus, all of whom developed flu symptoms. Ferrets are considered a good model to study human flu transmission because efficient spread of the flu in ferrets tends to predict efficient spread in people. Several of the infected ferrets were placed in the same cage as uninfected ferrets. In addition, several uninfected ferrets were placed in cages a short distance away from uninfected ferrets to see if the virus could spread through the air. All of the uninfected ferrets who were in the same cage as the infected ferrets caught the virus, suggesting the virus can spread through direct contact. The flu virus also spread through the air, but less efficiently. Just one of three ferrets caged a short distance from infected ferrets caught the virus. The findings mostly mirror what health officials have seen in people, Webby said. For sustained person-to-person transmission to occur, the virus would likely have to transmit efficiently by both the airborne and direct contact routes, Webby said. Because H7N9 doesn't transmit very well through the air, it "doesn't look like it has the capacity to [cause] a pandemic," unless the virus changes, Webby said. H7N9 appears to be more infectious than the H5N1 bird flu virus, Webby said. When researchers infect ferrets with H5N1, they usually do not see transmission through airborne or direct contact, Webby said. One bit of good news is that H7N9 does not appear to spread between pigs. In the study, pigs did not catch H7N9 from each other, either through the air or direct contact. Transmission between pigs would be concerning because it would provide more opportunities for the H7N9 virus to evolve and transmit to people that way too, Webby said. Based on the new results, pigs are unlikely to be major players in maintaining of the virus,Webby said. However, Webby noted the study tested just one strain of H7N9, and there are other strains out there that may act differently. The study, conducted by researchers at the University of Hong Kong and others, is published today (May 23) in the journal Science. Follow Rachael Rettner @RachaelRettner. Follow MyHealthNewsDaily @MyHealth_MHND, Facebook & Google+. Originally published on LiveScience. Read More @ Source | |||
| Praying to a personal God requires us to be a "person" Posted: 23 May 2013 09:00 PM PDT I'm not big on praying. A few days ago I called it absurd, even in the face of tragedy. Prayers alone have zero effect on anything or anyone. Prayers plus action to change things... that can work. Philosophically, though, praying raises some interesting questions. Is the entity being prayed to a personal being, or not? Usually we assume that it is, for good reason. Impersonal entities, like a stone, gravity, or a computer, aren't considered to be capable of responding to prayers. (Nonetheless, I've engaged in quite of bit of dialoguing with computers over the years; particularly Windows machines where my side of the conversation consisted mostly of profanity and marvelously creative curses.) This is why "people of the Book," Christians, Jews, and Muslims, pray, while people who believe that impersonal forces guide the cosmos, such as Taoists and Buddhist Spiritualitys, don't. At least not in the same sense as monotheists do. A Taoist or Buddhist Spirituality prayer (using that term loosely) really is more of an intention directed to oneself. It's main purpose is to alter the consciousness of the person uttering the "prayer" than to appeal to a separate and distinct conscious divinity. Likewise, Taoists and Buddhist Spiritualitys don't believe that humans are separate and distinct from the cosmos, possessing (or being) an individualized self or soul. So we see a certain symmetry operating here. Those who pray to a personal God view themselves as "persons." This allows them to have a personal relationship with God, to enjoy the prospect of eternity in heaven, paradise, or wherever with their Best Godly Friend, to survive the demise of their body by virtue of an immortal soul. Those who embrace an impersonal sense of the cosmos view themselves as integral aspects of the whole. There is nothing and no one to pray to, because nothing and no one is in control of the universe. Rather, everything is interconnected naturally. This is a pleasingly scientific conception of reality. Also, in my opinion, the most genuinely spiritual (using that term loosely) way of looking upon the world. Modern neuroscience agrees with ancient Taoism and Buddhism: there is no distinct "me" inside my head, or yours. No ethereal self or soul gazing upon the contents of consciousness from some supernatural height. No entity standing apart from the web of relationships that guide the course of everything in the universe. In this sense, prayer reflects a lack of faith. Those who pray for anything other than "thy will be done" (whether this be a natural or supernatural "will") are complaining that what did or will happen, shouldn't have. Instead of acceding to the reality of is, prayerful people substitute their personal vision of what should be. Like I said, action is inevitable. We are born to act, born to desire, born to have goals we want to achieve. But we should realize that men and women propose, while nature disposes. And we are an integral aspect of nature. No need to pray when there is no one to pray to, and no one, really, who is doing the praying. | |||
| Top 6 Questions to Ask Yourself Before You Get Married Posted: 23 May 2013 02:00 PM PDT  Many of them happen because one of the partners has changed significantly. Some of them happen because of the chronic cheating habits of either partner. But most of them happen because they were not in the right marriage to begin with. Those marriages took place because the partners didn't (or couldn't) give as much thought to their decision (of getting married) as they should have. They didn't ask the right questions. They weren't ready for the right evaluations (of themselves and their partners) and couldn't anticipate the profound change that marriage would bring to their lives. Are you thinking of getting married? In that case, have you made a careful assessment of your relationship to check if it is marriage-ready? If not, here are the six crucial questions that you must ask yourselves before you pop the question. While there are many more factors specific to your relationship which you can (and should) take into account, make sure you don't miss out on these six. 1. Are our life and career goals similar?Marriage is a decision to inextricably join your life with someone else's. Aligning your life, career and other important goals is crucial. Do you want to settle down in a quaint suburb and have lots of kids? Then don't marry someone who wants to live and work in five continents. Are you planning to pool all your resources, throw them (and yourself) head-on into your new start-up – the dream of your life? Then don't marry someone who wants a stable, cushy life and lots of "quality time" together. You get the point. 2. Do we fulfill each other's needs?We all have emotional, intellectual, physical, practical, social and various! other needs from a relationship. If you're in a relationship and are planning to get married, ask yourself – have you made a rational, clear-headed evaluation of whether and how much of your needs your significant other fulfills? Or are you glossing over your unfulfilled needs thinking "every relationship requires compromise"? This is important because when we're in the throes of that addictive drug called love, we tend to see only positives in the person we're in love with. Now nothing can be truer than the fact that every relationship takes some ceding of grounds, and kudos to you if you're willingly doing your bit. But if you ignore your basic needs, they will find a way to come back to you in the long run – in the form of fights, emotional abuse, cheating and even divorce. 3. Do we know really know each other?I was once with a guy who lied about his age on Facebook, and I never asked him about it. We were six months into the relationship when I discovered he was five years older than I thought. Yes, you guessed it – that was not the only lie on which the relationship was based. No wonder we didn't stay together much more than a year. Knowing your partner and allowing them to know you are vital aspects of a stable relationship. Trust takes an immense amount of work (and time) to build, but only seconds to lose. Be honest and tell your partner everything you think they should know about you. This will make it easier for them to do the same. Needless to say, if you can't trust your partner enough to do that, it is probably not the time to think about marriage. 4. Do we know how to deal with each other's "negative" sides?You can't live without your dogs. But your girlfriend would rather die than live with them. You're a devil incarnate when you're angry. You're struggling with a bad spending habit. We all have our negative aspects. If you're thinking ab! out makin! g a lifelong commitment to someone it's crucial to understand and develop strategies to deal with each other's less-than-desirable traits. Make a conscious decision to go (or not to go) pet-less for the rest of your life for a partner who's allergic to your pets. Make your peace with the problematic spending habits of your significant other before you decide to take the plunge. It takes time to understand and deal with things we don't like about our partners. And until and unless you've spent that time, you're not ready to make a decision on marriage. 5. Do we admire and respect each other?Intelligence? Simplicity? A caring heart? A strong common interest? Is there something in him/her which genuinely complements you in ways more than one? Falling in love with someone "for no particular reason" is great for the heady period of infatuation but not nearly enough for the everyday reality of marriage. Ask yourselves whether you admire each other for the special individuals that you are and the unique qualities that you both possess. Marriage is a long – sometimes boring, but stable – commitment. It cannot be based on whether someone is exciting to you. It has to be about finding long-term fulfilment and happiness in the individuals that you are. 6. Am I ready to think of him/her as a parent of my children?You love your partner like mad? Great. But do you also respect them? Are you proud of them? Remember, your legacy to this world will be as much a part of you as of him/her. Unless it fills your heart with joy to think of them as a parent of your children, you should probably think about that marriage thing again. In this regard it's important to take not only your significant other, but also their family into account. Your child will carry as much of your genes as theirs. Is that something that makes you happy? Marriage is a decision that will change your life, one way or the other. ! Keeping a! few basic principles in mind and asking the right questions will make sure you steer clear of pitfalls that often contribute to divorce.
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This is one of my favorite little stories:
I'd like to suggest a simple practice for you. 
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