Finally Free From DADT

Dishonorably Discharged Diva

Im certain thats what the reporters would have called me, and it would have been really, really ugly.

What was it Garth Brooks said about unanswered prayers? Oh, thats right, some of Gods greatest gifts. Well, I can assure you that She wrapped this gift with a big red bow and delivered it via my mother in 1993. There is a seventeen-year-old thank you card I forgot to send until last year when a friend posted this video on Facebook:


Jeff Sheng talks about his faceless portraits of gay U.S. military members displayed at the Kaycee Olsen Gallery. The exhibit is called Dont Ask, Dont Tell.

It is a heart-wrenchingly (for me, at least) beautiful 3 1/2-minute reminder of the reality that was almost mine. Honestly, I had totally forgotten how Id planned, at least for a moment, to follow my parents footsteps right into the United States Air Force. At the timewhich feels like one hundred years ago but was in fact only twentythey were both recently retired career soldiers and military life was the only life Id ever known.

As a little girl, Id wanted to be a teacher but there was no money or plan for me to go to college. Id done enough research to know that teaching required at least 4 years and likely more, and more tuition than I could conceive of. My mom had already begun a second career in civil service and with her retirement income, we didnt qualify for financial assistance. Id packed up my dream of being a teacherlike the final, sacred token of a childhood chapter now closedand moved on.

I had zero sense of personal identity, no clue who I was or what I wanted to be when I grew up. Throughout my life, the U.S. Air Force provided my family with the basics one needs in life (at least as I understood it then): health insurance, retirement plan, roof over your head, work clothes! , and en ough extra to buy food on base and pay your utilities, plus vacation one or two weeks a year. My vision of my future was totally blank, and my parents choice seemed like a reasonable option for me, too.

Next: Mom shut me down. Hard.


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