By Paula Spencer, Caring.com senior editorGrief is a natural response to loss, and it can unfold in many ways. Unfortunately, well-intentioned onlookers dubbed grief police by grief expert Robert Neimeyer, professor of psychology at the University of Memphis often say things that mistakenly imply to the bereaved that theres a right way to grieve.Consider these all-too-common grief myths:
Myth #1: Its possible to cry too much.Everyone grieves differently. Theres no single correct way to express the pain, sorrow, yearning, and other aspects of the transition of adjusting to the death of a loved one. Intense responses are sometimes seen as losing control, when in fact theyre simply how that person is actively (and productively) processing the loss.
Myth #2: If you dont cry now, itll be worse later.Some people never cry. Tears or outward expressions of anguish simply arent everyones grieving style, says psychologist Neimeyer. This doesnt mean theyre grieving less intensely than a visibly shaken individual, or that they loved the person who died any less. Nor does a lack of obvious emotion mean the griever has an emotional block or problem or will face a longer, more difficult adjustment to the loss.
Myth #3: Grief is something you get over.Most people never stop grieving a death; they learn to live with it. Grief is a response, not a straight line with an endpoint. Many psychologists bristle at words such as acceptance or resolution or healed as a final stage of grief. The real stages of grief involve tasks of processing and adjustment that one returns to all through life.
What to Write in a Sympathy Note How to Grieve: 5 Myths That Hurt originally appeared on Caring.com.
