Happiness is Uncovering What You Already Have

Happiness is Uncovering What You Already Have
Early Morning Stress Reduction Inspiration - 8/31/2012
Meditation or Drugs: The Downside of Cannabis

Posted: 31 Aug 2012 11:00 AM PDT

Post written by Leo Babauta.

When I set out to convert my unhappiness with my life into happiness, about 7 years ago, I had some ideas about how to do it.

I was going to get out of debt and lose weight and get a better job and declutter my house and get into shape and become productive and write a book.

And I actually did all those things and much more. It was great. They changed my life, and I'm very happy now.

Those things, however, didn't get me happiness.

What I learned is that I already had all I needed for happiness, but it was buried beneath my insecurities, my discontent with my life, my loathing of my body and myself. I already had it, but it was all covered up.

Happiness is the uncovering of what you already have.

You have all you need for happiness, right now. You don't need to change anything about yourself, or your life. You just need to see what's already there.

Let me show you what I found out about myself, and how I became happy.

Changing My Life

When I set out to become happy, I wanted to change my life. I had an ideal life that I wanted to create, and I thought if I created that life, I would be happy.

It's all a fantasy. We all do it: we fantasize all the time about the ideal partner, the ideal kids, the ideal job, home, car, computer, clothes, travel, furniture, TV, and of course, body. If we have these ideal things, this perfect fantasy, we'll be happy, right?

Well, no. Because first, the fantasy can't ever come true. We can believe we're making it come true, but the reality will never match up with the fantasy.

For example, I learned this because while I decluttered and created a minimalist home, it didn't automatically give me a feeling of contentedness. I needed to learn that separately.

Decluttering, however, did teach me a lot: I learned about why I was holding on to things (fear), and learned that the fears were unfounded. I learned that I could do well even without all that false security, and that I was already strong enough to live life without a lot of unnecessary things.

I still recommend simplifying your life, not because of the fantasy life you think you'll create, but because you learn about yourself.

When I lost weight, I was still unhappy with my body. It still wasn't perfect. And let's be honest: it will never be perfect, in the sense of matching the fantasy of the cover models you see on men's magazines. I'll never match up to that fantasy.

But losing weight taught me that I could enjoy eating healthier and exercising. I learned that these weren't as scary as I thought, and that food is not needed as a crutch for stress, fears, loneliness, boredom and the like.

This was true in every area of my fantasy: I learned that striving for the fantasy didn't ever work, that I could never get there, that even if I got close, I wouldn't be happy. But I learned along the way that I didn't need my old baggage, and that everything I needed for happiness was already in my possession.

What You Need for Happiness

So what does make you happy? What do you need for happiness?

You can strive for happiness in external things all you like: house, job, car, a loving partner, food, drugs, shopping. But these don't make you happy, at least not for long, and when they don't give you continual happiness then you have to keep striving for more, and your happiness is always subject to the whim of these external things and people.

You can also find happiness within. You can learn that you have some amazing things inside you, that they are beautiful if you learn to accept them for what they are — and not try to meet up with any fantasy. You can learn that life is always amazing, as it is, without the fantasies. And because the happiness is within, you aren't subject to losing it because people aren't in the right mood, or because of external events changing your source of happiness.

This means stripping away the fantasies, one by one. It means looking within, and learning to be OK with what you find.

It's not an overnight process, but the amazingness is already within you. It's all around you (and actually within and without are not different things). No fantasies needed.

Note: To learn more about uncovering all you need for happiness, and why this is the root issue that causes (and solves) problems like the inability to change habits, weight problems, debt, procrastination and more, please read more about my new course, Uncover Your Awesomeness.

The course is part of the Zen Habits Sea Change Program, and registration closes today (Aug. 31).

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Meditation or Drugs: The Downside of Cannabis

Posted: 31 Aug 2012 02:00 AM PDT

New research shows that teenage cannabis use causes lasting damage. As well as the physiological damage, Buddhism suggests that drugs are about avoiding experience rather than engaging with mindfully with it

Some of the parents I know with teenage children who use cannabis are fairly relaxed about what's happening. 'It isn't doing any harm', one tells me. 'Alcohol's much worse.' Others would really like their children to stop but are at their wits end. It's OK, they say, but not in the house, not on weekdays, or only after you've done your homework.

I don't envy them and no doubt the scientific study reported this week will fuel their worries. It finds that, true to the stoner stereotype, cannabis users have problems with memory, attention and processing information. Most worryingly, the IQs of people who start using cannabis before eighteen drop by an average eight percent, and the damage persists even if they later stop.

The cannabis users I know usually want to chill out, escape stress and access a state of mellow relaxation. Some say it's natural: a herb, not a drug and an alternative to harried modern living. In fact, some believe, it's rather like meditation. However, Buddhism has five main ethical precepts and the last is 'abstaining from intoxicants'. This isn't a rigorous prohibition, and Buddhists aren't always strictly teetotal or drug-free. It's a 'principle of training', as we say, that encourages people to avoid drink and drugs because they 'cloud the mind' and cause 'heedlessness'.

The positive counterpart of the precept is the practice of mindfulness: the capacity to be fully present and attentive to whatever's happening in our experience. In other words, Buddhism posits a choice in our mental lives between avoiding what's happening if it's difficult or troubling; and acknowledging or even accepting it.

People who use drugs to circumvent serious emotional difficulties are choosing avoidance, and the work of therapists is helping them to find alternatives to escaping their problems. But the Buddhist perspective is also relevant to those for whom smoking cannabis is just an enjoyable way to relax and be with friends.

This has become increasingly acceptable because it seems harmless. However, the new research suggests that, in the case of teenage cannabis use, that's far from the truth. If the research withstands scrutiny, laissez faire attitudes will have to change. But alongside the physiological dangers are the emotional and psychological effects of drug use. The fundamental choice we all face is whether to inhabit a haze filled by dope smoke or some other form of sedative, intoxicant, entertainment or distraction; or to engage with our lives wholeheartedly, with all their frustrations and all their beauty.

This was broadcast on BBC Radio 4′s Thought for the Day slot on 29/08/2012. UK readers can listen to the audio here

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